By Stuart J DuBreuil

“Sometimes a little brain damage can help”, said comedian George Carlin.

And that phrase has been resonating with me lately.
Every day, I try and fail to make sense of all the senseless things going on in the world.
I can’t tune it out, and I can’t look away. Thoughts about the craziness just keep spinning around in my head until it starts to get overwhelming. We all know the stories:

• The President and the porn star –

• Hookers allegedly pissing on the bed that the Obamas slept in, to amuse Trump in a Russian hotel? –

• Putin’s poison du jour being served in a London cafe –

• More mass shootings at our schools. Should we arm all the teachers or leave it to the high school students to march to change the gun laws? –

• Trump’s trade war with China and other countries –

• Trump’s meaningless meeting with Kim Jong Un –

• Now Trump is even bashing Amazon. Is there nothing sacred? –

• Will the FBI’s Mueller get to the truth, or will he be fired first?

And the latest news about Trump’s bromance with Putin, has just put me over the edge!

What are the facts? Are there even facts anymore? Kellyanne Conway spoke of “alternative facts”. Do they come from an alternative universe? How can we tell what the truth is, with all the fake news, Fake News, FAKE NEWS everywhere?

Like Mick Jagger, “I can’t get no satisfaction.”

I wonder if Carlin was really onto something?

Maybe I’m just looking at things all wrong. Maybe I need to change my attitude and my thinking? If I could just disable the gray matter in my left hemisphere that controls logical thinking, maybe that would be enough to either: have things start to make sense or make me just not give a shit anymore.

Do you remember the movie “Pi”? The main character is a math genius, who’s being chased by everyone because he knows secrets about numbers that could make them rich and powerful. He finally takes a power drill to his head, destroying all his math abilities and knowledge. Problem solved. No one cares about him anymore. He can now live happily in peace. Brilliant! Ignorance really is bliss!

I read that doctors used to do frontal lobotomies here in the US until 1967. That will change your attitude, big time! But I guess the practice was banned for some reason.

I looked, but I couldn’t find any doctors willing to perform the surgery, so I made a trip down to my friendly neighborhood hardware store, and found the perfect tool.

I don’t remember exactly what happened, but the paramedics were very nice when they brought me to the emergency room. After a few weeks of recovery, I’m really feeling quite well. I’ve started the process of reintegrating into society.

Things don’t bother me like they used to, and I’ve started to read again. I found my old copy of Orwell’s “1984” laying around.

Wow, the book has taken on a whole new meaning, and it’s making a lot of sense:

“War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength” (and Bliss!) . What’s not to like?!

© Copyright 2018 – Stuart J DuBreuil